Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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