never play flip cup with pint glasses
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
