I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Ketchup is God's man juice
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
