I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
