In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize
