I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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