The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
