i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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