i just google imaged poop.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
