I cannot find my penis.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize