I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
