You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
