Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
