Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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