Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He? As in you personified your dick?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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