Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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