I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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