So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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