i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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