Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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