Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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