Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
