I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
