I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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