anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
third nipple confirmed
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
