Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
