her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
