God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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