Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize