I love black thongs
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
