you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
