im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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