well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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