Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
