I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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