girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
