Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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