and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
pray to the hookup gods
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
