After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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