My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
