so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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