nut hugger
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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