Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
