Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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