I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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