I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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