Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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