Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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