You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We talked him into tasing himself.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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