We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
