Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
