That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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