It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
