i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize