I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
