so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
