Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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