I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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