You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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