I met the friendliest cop last night
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I love you. Go after that dick
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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