he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
