life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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