I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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