the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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